soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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