I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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