Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did you get engaged???
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
