I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
