WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
