Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize