She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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