I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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