Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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