I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
