I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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