Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
