What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
