Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
