help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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