this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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