Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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