Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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