I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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