What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
