your thong is hanging out like whoa
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
