You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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