I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
