your thong is hanging out like whoa
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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