His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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