have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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