We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I will be naked everywhere
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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