your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
