I bet he comes in French.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
