But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
