garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
farters have to be the big spoon...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
