Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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