this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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