Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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