So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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