Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
