And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
