It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
