I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
