Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had to cum in my sink.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
