It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
