I'm drive I can fine osifer
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
