do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
