She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize