dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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