I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
