really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
