I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize