The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
