that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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