So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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