Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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