Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
