Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
