i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
