It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
