I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
