I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
should my penis look like a turkey
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
