is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
