You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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