Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
