He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
