i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
