Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
