I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
