What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
