Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize