How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
