We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
