when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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