whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She just used a chaser for red wine.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
