i always forget guys have bellybuttons
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
