dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize