He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
