yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
