ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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