I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
