jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
