its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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