I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
