Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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