it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
