so that wasnt chicken after all
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
